Sunday, March 9, 2008

testimony vs conversion

Last night was the adult session of stake conference. The adult session is always my favorite. Maybe it is because I don't have to worry about my toddler acting up. Or about getting there early to get a seat. Or maybe I like it best because we always go out to eat with friends afterward. Yum. Kidding.
I'm pretty sure I like it best because the topics are all geared towards me and I usually find them relevant.

I really enjoyed hearing president Olsen speak. I love president Olsen. He was my seminary teacher my senior year, and he was a patient, loving teacher. He has had so many health problems lately and we have all been worried about him. It was nice to see him looking fairly well.

Most of the conference was about missionary work. I am pretty uncomfortable with this subject. I am not good about missionary work at all. I always feel like I need to make my little(growing) family perfect before I can invite another family/person to come and hear the gospel. So I always listen to subjects like this with a little bit of fear mixed with guilt.

Since my mom is a missionary in Germany I should be even more diligent in my missionary efforts. Don't I pray that the members in Berlin will help the effort there?

It brought to mind a conversation I had earlier in the day at my friend Tiffany's baby shower. Tiffany is a convert. She was married several years before she was baptised. This is always surprising for people to hear because she seems like she has been a member all her life.

I ran into an old friend of my sister Joy there. It turns out she (Aubrey) had gone to ASU with Tiffany and has known her forever. She mentioned that she felt bad she never introduced Tiffany to the church, because it was obvious she was golden. I told her that she had obviously befriended her and was a good example to her, and that was missionary work in itself. I believe this. I have always believed this. This way I can tell myself that if I am just nice to the non members that I know, I am doing my part.

Well,I am pretty sure now that this is not the case. But the alternative is awfully scary. What do you think? Am I doing my part?

Anyhow, President Evans spoke at the end. I had been feeling gross, and had snuck into the mother's lounge (yes, without a baby) to eat whatever was in my purse so that I might feel less nauseated. (this happened to be a chocolate covered pretzel from Tiffany's shower. Very healthy, I know.) I turned on the sound and sat in the comfy chairs ate my pretzel, and felt much better.

President Evans started talking about the difference between a testimony and conversion. Here it is:

testimony: to know and to testify.

conversion: to do and become.

It is pretty easy for me to have a testimony. I know the church is true, and it is easy for me to teach and to testify of it(in church, of course, where everyone agrees with me;) I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon.
I have read about it and prayed about it, and know that it is truly another testament of Jesus Christ. That part is done. It is easy for me to know of the truth of these things and to feel the spirit in church or when I am reading my church magazines.

To do and become is much more difficult. I believe in the Book of Mormon, but do I read it every day? No. This has always been a challenge for me. I love President Hinckley, but I am definitely behind in my Hinckley challenge.
I know through prayer that I will have an easier time being nice to my kids (I'm not a touchy/feely person) if I read the BoM every day. Yet I still don't do it.

How many things do I have a testimony of that I just don't do? Sadly, it is many.

I reminds me of that line from the RM.
"how many converts did you have?" "just me"

I love that. I am pretty sure it is time for me to transfer what I know into what I do. Easier said then done.

1 people know I love comments!:

Holly Janeen said...

i LOVE this post :)
thanks so much for sharing all your feelings...
that session was really a wake up call for me, too, especially because i am a return missionary- and i feel like at one point i felt passionate about missionary work. it made me really have to reflect on why i dont share it any more.
i think that just POSTING about it, is a missionary effort- so good job!! i need to do that...

i got your messages and i will definately be emailing my notes as well as a yummy greek recipe :)