Here is my question for the day: How do you really know you are done having babies? I have always felt like I have one more baby coming. But with some of my health issues, and a husband who doesn't really like taking care of all the kids solo while I am dealing with my health issues, that doesn't really seem likely. Some of my sisters say that you just never get that feeling that you are finished. That the maternal instinct is so strong that you just always want one more. Even when you are done, and you know you are done, you still may not feel complete. They say you should just suck it up, and wait for grand babies.(my own words;) I remember my mother struggling to know she was finished when she was pregnant with the twins. Yes, they are numbers 10 and 11. heaven knows I could never go that far. I have a sister that has 7 kids and that seems like a ton to me. I know she still gets a little baby hungry even though she is done.
So my question is: Do you ever really feel like your family is complete? Has anybody had their last child and felt completely done? Not just right after you've had your baby, but years afterward? What do you think?
Monday, March 3, 2008
Do you ever really know?
Posted by sherry at 7:24 AM
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i have a couple friends years after their baby is grown(1st grader) that yeah she is 100% done. she was done at 4 kids. got her tubes tied and doesn't look back. my sister in law has 7 the last couple were surprises. and is thrilled now, that no more will be joining her family. i think the big difference is they chose to be done.100% on their own. no pressure from their hubby. or other people. i personally am not done. and feel like when i stop looking around thinking where is the other one? someone is missing. I'll be done.otherwise 8 is my limit. what's 2 more right?
kidding. it's all what you can handle. i say that, and can't handle the 6 i've got. BUT i'm not having any for awhile either. big issue is you decide when, health problems factor in. and you decide for yourself , then no guilt. no looking back. sure you might wanna hold a baby or i always want to shop for one. but that's what nieces and nephews are for right?
Sherry I really do know how hard this is because we have had times were we thought we could stop. When Brady was about 4 we thought that we might be done but were never ready to do anything permanent. Then Chases and his sweet sporit made it known that he needed to come. I think at that point we thought we were done because we always thought we would have 4 kids. But nothing major was done... We thought we would deal with that in a few years..And once again a sweet spirit needed to wake me up in the night. I was a little slower to respond that time, it took a few months before I did anything about it. Now we have sweet Karly and I was quick to have my tubes tied after her. I am now at the stage that I have done the babies for so long that I am so ready to be past that. I have really easy pregnancys and that made it easier to keep going. I never had health problems, that really changes everything. I think I would consider having a surrogate have one for me... I always thought I could do that for one of my sisters if I needed to.
AMEN, Sista!
I "think" we're done. But I'm not sure what my reasons are for thinking that.
Secretly I think we might have one more...in a few years.
We'll see.
But I used to say "OH WE'RE DONE!" and mean it, and now I'm not so sure...
Let me know if you get an answer!
I personally think that if you have lost the maternal instinct that makes you want to have a tiny baby to love and to hold--you've had one too many. One too many and you are stuggling to keep it together. Just my opinion, and not a popular one, I'm sure. It will take awhile, but give yourself a good 10 years and then you'll admit I was right about this.
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