Last week I went to take a bath and grabbed an Ensign to read while I was in there. I noticed that the one I grabbed was the Nov. 2006 conference edition. At first I was surprised that I had kept one so old, but I have a hard time tossing the conference edition. Any conference edition. I know I can access them online anytime I want to, but somehow I feel like I am throwing away scripture. It is a mental thing.
I started just thumbing through it searching for a talk that caught my eye. I saw one entitled," The Temple is about Families." At first it wasn't tempting. I have to admit that I have issues about geneology. My grandmother is fabulous about it, and I know there is a purpose to it. "Hearts of the Fathers," and all of that business. I know. But the more I read my family history, and Wendell's family history, the less I like these people. That might sound evil, but it is the cold hard truth. There is something about 50 year olds marrying 13 year olds or 17 year olds that just seems wrong. One day when I am more christlike, I will get over it. In the meanwhile, I avoid geneology. I don't really want to know, O.K?
So I was about to skip it when I read this quote: "When you come to the temple you will love your family with a deeper love then you have ever felt before."
That caught my attention. Some of you know I have been having hormonal issues since my surgery in November. They removed my left ovary. Most people function just fine on one ovary, because the other one compensates. WEll, my other one has issues too, and it is not compensating very well. Let's just say I have a hard time liking people right now, and my poor little family is not excluded. They are the closest to me and they are getting the brunt of it. It is really not fair to them. I am trying my hardest, but I just seem colder. I am in a lot of pain, my IC has come back, and I am having a hard time liking people.
I am trying to get things medically sorted out, but if the temple will help the Lord give me a deeper love for my family, then I am all for it. I have been trying to get Wendell to go with me for the past two weeks, and it has been hard. Our schedules are off, or someone is sick, and it never happens. Let's face it, Satan has both Wendell and myself to work on to keep us out. So I told myself that if Wendell doesn't get me to the temple by Saturday ( yesterday) I would go by myself next week. And probably every week. This way Satan only has MY schedule to mess with, and I will be more likely to get there. If Wendell is able to tag along one day, fine. That would be fabulous.
So I am going to try it out. I will let you know how it works out.