You may remember that when I hit 12 weeks and was still sick as a dog I had a little breakdown. I decided that it would take the whole 16 weeks like some of my other pregnancies. When I hit 16 weeks I said to myself, "I am sure i will feel better tomorrow" and as time went on, " I will probably feel better next week". I have realized that I have been living in denial.
I will be 19 weeks tomorrow and am still travelling with a puke cup in my car. What is worse, I am still using it. I am still paying a fortune for zofran, and mostly only using it in the evening so I don't wake up hurling in the middle of the night.
You would think with all of this sickness I would not be as big as a house. Unfortunately, I am managing to keep down enough food to make me quite large. The fact that my usual workout schedule went down the tubes many months ago is not helping. Sporadic treadmill usage and a little yoga just doesn't do the same thing.
The culprit: probably my one whacked out ovary. My hormones are all unbalanced, and that means sickness. I am still holding out hope. It is easier for me if I tell myself that my body could figure things out and return to normal next week. My cysts could just go away. It's possible, right?
Anyhow, this really isn't just a pity post. I am looking for advice. It will be easier to deal with my sick body if I can just get my head straight. Usually I know the best things to do when you have problems of your own:
1. Service. This always seems to help when I am feeling sorry for myself. But I am having a hard time doing just the minimum for my family right now. Any suggestions?
2. gratitude. I love reading other people blog about their weekly blessings. I have always told myself I can't do that project because I didn't start in January. Maybe I should do it anyway. I also love Ashley's posts about "happiness today" She writes a little list about what has made her happy that day. I love it. I need to incorporate something like that into my life.
3.The temple. I haven't been to the temple since before I found out I was pregnant. I am afraid I won't be able to make it through a whole session. Just thinking about what would happen worries me enough to vomit;) Should I just go anyway and have faith that I can make it through? Or should I try to go about getting those blessings some other way?
Any other suggestions? Does anyone else have a sure fire way to make themselves feel better about things when life seems a little too overwhelming?